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Cleaning Up Our Messes at Work – Emotional Intelligence Applied

February 14, 2011 By Bette Hoffman Leave a Comment

It would be so nice if everything went as planned at work.  And we know that is not going to happen!  That’s because we are human and that means we have emotions.  We react to each other and get triggered in the moment. Then we say something we don’t mean to say or say it in a way that we don’t intend.  It may be an example of “open mouth wide and insert foot”!  The question is can we use our emotional intelligence to rectify the damage?

Our voice may carry a harsh tone or our words may sound of blame, we might not stop to fully regard the other person and communicate that by continuing to type away at our keyboard and not engaging in direct eye contact.  As a result we create unintended impact.  We have created a bit of a mess to clean up.

These interactions chip away at the fabric of our trust and can damamge cooperative relationships for the short term and the long haul.  The result can be resentment, avoidance, decreased willingness to work as a team etc.

I recently had the honor of working with coaching clients who were working on repairing their strained relationship.  The power of apologizing served them to move way beyond the unintended impact.  The relationship has now far surpassed its original ability to function effectively to serve their aligned mission.

  • Are there work relationships where you may have had an unintended impact?

  • Is there a past mess that you might need to go back to clean up?  Is there tension or avoidance?

  • What relationships, if they were stronger, would better serve the mission of your organization?

It can be somewhat uncomfortable to initiate the clean-up but well worth the effort.

Filed Under: career, coaching, emotional intelligence, leadership, self-improvement, stress management, workplace conflict

Novelty and Your Brain

January 10, 2011 By Bette Hoffman 1 Comment

In many ways, we as humans are creatures of habit.  We may eat the same meals each week, sit at the same place at the conference table, write the report in the same format, make requests in the same way, look at a recurring problem through the same lens. Although sameness can be efficient in many ways, it can also have a deadening effect.

Our brains like and want some novelty in small to intermediate dosages. The region of the brain that detects something contrary to what is expected actually lights up. However, when there is too much change the brain goes on “high alert” as in a warning system.  Dopamine, the chemical of interest, rises when the brain detects novelty.  Nor epinephrine, the chemical of alertness, increases when arousal increases.  When you hear the sound of glee or see the look of sheer wonder in the face of child who has discovered the workings of a new toy, you are witnessing these chemicals at work.

That explains why I recently felt like a kid in wonder again when I learned a new rhythm in my Taiko drumming class. In addition to being a great brain challenge, on a very fundamental level it just plain feels good!

How can you apply this knowledge at work or beyond?  You can pump up your dopamine level and your interest by introducing novelty in any form.  It could be a change of perspective or introducing humor.  Imagine if as a leader in your organization you chose to sit at the opposite side of the table how that might pique interest -yours and your team’s?  Something as simple as that can shift energy and shake up the status quo.  What is another way you might deliver that report to engage and wake-up your audience to your main points?

To pump up your adrenaline level, you can imagine a mild fear. Or ask yourself. “If I were to do something daring about ___ what would that be?”  You’ll notice something different about your energy and will be more inclined to move into action, even a more bold action.

Suggestions going forward:

1.  Curious to know more about how your brain works and how you can work smarter?  Read Your Brain at Work by David Rock.

2. Try something new this week or try something familiar in a new way. And see what happens!  Conversely, if you are on overwhelm, hold steady and wait on adding novelty.

3. If you are not on my “Steppin’ Up – The Power of Expression for Women” mailing list and would like to be, please let me know.

To You and Your Best,
Bette
Bette Hoffman

781-444-9638

bette@yolocoaching.com
Filed Under: leadership Tagged With: coaching, emotional intelligence, executive coaching, leadership, work performance

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