When 1 + 1 Does NOT Add Up

In the February Issue of Yolo e-Tips the “IF – THEN” formula is dispelled.

At one time or another we all add wrong. I’m not referring to the adding we do on a calculator. I am referring to “IF-THEN” addition formula. It sounds like this:

“IF I say what I believe… THEN I will be seen as a loudmouth.”
“IF I ask for what I need…THEN I will be considered as selfish.”
“IF I bring up an alternative view…THEN I will be called a naysayer.”
“IF I tell my staff that we will need to change…THEN I am a meanie.”

The list goes on infinitum.

This is the impact of “IF-THEN” ing:

We say it as if it is true beyond a doubt.
Then we come to believe that it an absolute truth (like 1 +1 =2). It becomes imprinted in cement, beyond question- a disempowering belief!
We buy in to it and operate as if it is true – backing ourselves into a small corner and we become TRAPPED !
Then we are without choice.

It plays out and becomes a cycle.

You don’t speak up at work to avoid being a loudmouth.
In your silence your voice doesn’t get heard and you don’t have the impact you want to have.
You feed your resentment and job satisfaction and engagement goes down.

How to Challenge IF-THEN…

Sounds like “IF I do this THEN …” OR …”IF I say this THEN…”

We make as if it is an absolute truth. We get trapped like a rat by this disempowering belief. It can immobilize us or at the very least have us act in a restricted way. So how might we deal with our IF – THEN tendency?

Tips for challenging “IF-THEN … “

1. Notice:

Just notice when you are doing it. Something as simple as saying to yourself – “Hmm… there I go with that IF -THEN stuff!” You have to catch yourself in the act!

2. Poke:

Gently begin to poke at the belief – question it. What part of this might be true? What part of it might NOT be true?

3. Entertain:

If this were NOT true what might you say or do?

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If you try this you’ll find your thinking will open up, you’ll begin to entertain a variety of perspectives you hadn’t previously considered! You’ll break free of the trap of IF-THEN thinking!

What are the other ways YOU deal with IF-THEN thinking in yourself OR others???

Your voice is welcomed here!

My Best to Your Best…

Bette

YOLO…You Only Live Once

Spread the Word!